Feel
by Becca Bing
Summary: This is a C&M songfic using the song Feel by Matchbox 20. Takes place in early 5th season, when no one knows about their relationship.


Ok, I'm home from school for a snow day and I've had the idea to write a songfic to the song Feel ever since I got the Matchbox 20 CD, "More Than You Think You Are." If u're a Matchbox 20 fan, I'd suggest getting it. I really love them! Lol. I've liked them since 5th grade…that's a hell of a long time now! Ok, this is my first songfic, so if I did it wrong, don't hold it against me too harshly please. The capital/italicized words are from the song (the italics didn't work for every line, and I don't feel like figuring out why), as the rest is my story. I think that this song is so appropriate for them. It's mainly just some Chandler and Monica relationship rambling from the beginning of 5th season…before anyone knew about them. I'm thinking that it's after the 100th episode though, so that they are well aware they aren't just "fooling around." Ok read, review, and hopefully it's good!:)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters or the words to the song Feel by Matchbox 20. Oh, and since this CD is relatively new, I'm hoping no one used this song in a fic before, but if u did, I'm so sorry! I haven't seen any with this song, so I can't be copying off of anyone. 

Feel 

** By Matchbox Twenty**

**  
**_WHAT YOU WANT   
WHAT YOU GOT _

_LIVE YOU LIFE IN A CRAWLSPACE_

****

"Is she really here with me?" Chandler wondered as his hands danced up and down Monica's bare arm, lightly. He had wanted this for so long and now that he had it, often it felt only like a dream. 

He just stared at her, sleeping peacefully, and sighed contently. He finally closed his eyes, and began to drift off to sleep.

**  
**_HELP YOU OUT  
BUT YOU DON'T   
WANT A CHANCE AT A BETTER LIFE _

**  
**Monica stirred in the arms of her secret lover. She opened her eyes, and looked at Chandler's sleeping face. Monica couldn't help, but smile at him. 

"And to think, if I had agreed to date him before, I could've been this happy then. We could've both saved ourselves a lot of wasted time dating those losers." She chucked at the irony of the situation. 

****

YOU SAID YOU NEVER TOOK A RIDE   
AND NOW YOU WANNA PLAY 

**  
**"Morning babe," Chandler greeted, when he opened his eyes to see Monica staring at him. 

"You're cute when you sleep."

"But I'm not when I'm awake?" Chandler quipped.

"Shut up or I'll stop saying nice things."

"I'm sorry." 

Chandler looked at her with begging puppy dog eyes and she couldn't help but kiss him. 

"I should go now…" Chandler stated, but made no attempt to get out of her bed. 

"Come on, Rachel's gonna be up soon," Monica scolded. 

He ignored Monica and pulled her into his embrace. 

After a moment, Monica looked up pensively.

Chandler let her out of his arms and turned towards her, "What?"

"I was just thinking…I've never had a secret relationship before."

"Me neither."

"It's kinda fun."

"I think it's really fun," he replied as he kissed her.

"It's just our little secret." Monica loved having a secret from everyone. It made her feel mysterious. 

"Just our little secret," Chandler agreed.

WELL IT'S A BIG BIG CITY   
LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND   
SOMETIME 

Chandler and Monica held hands as they walked through Central Park together. It was slightly risky to walk hand and hand with each other, but they decided that the odds of being seen by one of their friends were incredibly slim. 

"We look like a real, normal couple," Monica commented, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between them. 

"Yeah, well it's just a pretense. Who would think that we have to hide our relationship from our closest friends?"

"Yeah…have to sneak out at night and lie to our friends in order to be together."

They both smiled mischievously at each other. 

"I know of a good closet," Chandler offered.

"Let's go!" Monica said as the two of them ran off.

_AND NOW   
YOU CROSSED THAT LINE   
YOU CAN'T COME BACK   
TELL ME HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW _

"Chandler?" Monica wondered that night, while Chandler was drifting off into sleep.

"Hmm…?" he answered sleepily.

"Do you ever feel weird…now that we're…a couple?"

Chandler thought about it for a moment, "Not really. It only feels weird when I can't kiss you or call you by any terms of endearment in public."

Monica chucked, "Do you know how many times I had to cover up for calling you sweetie?" 

"Still not as bad when I had to cover up for kissing you."

They both laughed at the memory. 

"Every time that I left a room that week, Joey made sure to warn me not to kiss him." 

_  
TOO LATE   
TOO MUCH TO FORGET ABOUT   
CAN'T STOP NOW   
TELL ME HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW _

"Ya know," Monica continued after a few minutes, waking Chandler again.

"Hmm…" he answered groggily again. 

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't go back to being just friends."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Too much has happened to just forget about."

"I agree. I could never look at you again, and know that I could never touch you." Then he lightly brushed his hand down her cheek. 

"Or kiss you again," she said, getting into the game. She then kissed him softly on the lips. 

Deepening the kiss, both were too far from reality to continue the conversation further. 

  
_I'M ONLY ASKING   
BECAUSE I WANNA KNOW   
HOW YOU WANNA FEEL _

Monica watched Chandler as he slept on his back next to her. 

"He deserves to sleep," she told herself, "He worked hard today…good, but hard." She smiled as she remembered their time together.   
Lying on her side, she continued to watch him as he slept. She wanted to feel his arms around herself, but she also knew not to try to cuddle with him, unless he initiated it. She did not want to be another victim of her brother's lame 'hug and roll' innovation. 

"The last thing you need is a sprained wrist, considering what you do for a job," she reminded herself. 

Monica looked over at the clock and saw the green numbers glow 2:30. She should be tired, but she wasn't. 

"Oh God!" she thought to herself, "I have to pee!" 

However, she knew that she shouldn't get up, since she was in Chandler and Joey's apartment. Instead, she crossed her legs and hoped for the best. 

To get her mind off of her sudden urge to urinate, she turned her attention back to Chandler. 

A thought ran through her head suddenly, as she whispered, "I think I'm in love with you Chandler Bing. Do you love me?"

Suddenly, he muttered something in his sleep, startling her. 

Once she gained her composure, she retracted her attention from Chandler's sleeping form, to the ceiling, as she turned on her back, and tried to fall asleep.

_I'M A WRECK   
I'M A MESS   
I'M A SPOT ON THE PAVEMENT   
I'M A NUMBER ON THE WALL _

Chandler sat at his desk, trying to concentrate on his work. Instead, his mind kept wondering to Monica. After fighting with his brain for a few minutes, he decided to just forget about work. Instead, he rummaged through his desk and grabbed a photo from the bottom drawer. He leaned back in his black, leather chair and studied the picture closely. He smiled at the memories the picture brought back to him. It was a picture of him and Monica in London, walking down the aisle during Ross' wedding. Although no one really kept pictures from the wedding, since it had been so disastrous, Chandler took that picture from Ross' pile when he wasn't looking. 

"It's not like he'll miss it," Chandler defended himself in his own mind. 

It was special to him because it was right after that magical night he and Monica had shared. Monica didn't even know that he had the picture, and that he looked at it almost every day. 

"Maybe, one day, I'll give it to her as a gift," he decided. Once he thought that, he realized something shocking—he pictured a future with Monica. He had never done that with anyone else before. Although that revelation should have sent him fleeing to Japan, it didn't. He just smiled and felt happier than he had felt in a long while. Or dare he think it—ever.

_I'LL MAKE YOU SOUL TIRED   
I DON'T THINK I LIKE THIS GAME   
NO MORE _

Monica was working at the restaurant as she fought to keep her eyes open. Being in a secret relationship sure took away from sleep time. Instead of slumbering, she was spending her time with Chandler. Although it was very enjoyable, it was becoming hard. Sometimes she wondered if they should come clean with everyone. It would be a lot less exhausting, for one thing.

She sighed as her shift ended and she walked out of the restaurant—too tired to notice that she was still wearing her chef's hat. 

_IT GOES AROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND_

That night, Chandler wandered into Monica's room, worried about not seeing her at all that evening at Central Perk or in her own apartment. When he entered, he noticed that she was fast asleep. Deciding that he would feel too guilty if he woke her, he just laid down next to her. That morning, Monica awoke to find Chandler asleep next to her. 

Once she got out of bed, she noticed that she was still in her clothes from the day before, and remembered how exhausted she had been. She smiled, grateful that Chandler didn't wake her the night before. 

Chandler woke up when he noticed the weight of the bed shift, due to Monica getting off of it. 

"Good morning, sleepy head," he said to her as he sat up.

"I was just really tired; I couldn't stay up."

"I understand."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Monica looked at the clock on her night table and noticed it was 7 AM, "You should really get going."

"Ok," he said, not making any attempt to get up.

"Chandler…"

"Fine," he huffed, giving her a peck on the lips and sneaking out of the room.

Monica smiled once he left. This was the way it should be—the two of them together. Secret or no secret, it was the best relationship of her life. 

_  
YOU TAKE IT ONE MORE TIME   
ONE MORE TIME_

So, did I do it right? Even more importantly, did u like it? I hope so. Please read and review! This is just a stand alone, btw. So no more chapters will be posted. But please keep reading my other fics! Thanks for reading!:)


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